Dear daughter,
Once upon a time, there was a woman named Lucy.
Lucy was a very hard worker. She was an employee, just as you are.
Working for a good company that gave her good benefits: a good salary, retirement benefits, medical aid, leave days, car allowance, etc.
And every day, she did her best to achieve great results.
She was selling the company products all over the country. She made the sales grow every year.
She prioritized her work over all the other stuff. The main reason for this is that she could not afford to lose her job. She had to pay bills, her kid’s school fees, and many more. She is what is called on this side of the world the breadwinner. The person that takes care of the finances in a family.
As a result of her hard work, she sold products for several million every month. In other words, her company had a net income of millions, mainly because of her. Because she was the person responsible for sales.
She rarely received credit for all her professional accomplishments. Her accomplishments only make the company more money and make it more profitable, month after month and year after year.
Sometimes she will arrive home and complain about her boss. She felt ignored. She was achieving great things for the company, but management did not acknowledge that.
She felt used, bad, betrayed, and disappointed.
Until one day, the boss decided to call her in his office.
He gave her a great speech, she was told how good she was, how important for the company.
The boss told her that they (the management and owners) appreciate very much all that she does, how great she is at doing her work, her sacrifice, and all the good things you would like to hear from your own boss.
As part of this acknowledgment package, the boss told her that the company is paying for her lunch in a nice place, because of her hard work (and all the millions she made for the company).
And because of this, she felt great!
She arrived home, with no complaints this time. Everything was great!
She was in a very good mood, like a kid when her parents buy the first bicycle as a gift for her good results at school that year.
She couldn’t be happier. Considering that she was really disturbed for many months because she was not acknowledged for her great work, for making the company profitable through a lot of sales.
That day, she looks radiant, full of joy and she felt accomplished.
And because of this, the husband was happy and also sad.
He was sad because as an outsider to her problem, he could see what was happening here and how unfair was to gift a person that was making millions for the owner of the company, with a paid lunch. Can you believe it?????
But he understood how important this was for her, so focus only on the good side of her “acknowledgment”.
The husband celebrated with her, showing her that he was happy for her.
He opened a wine bottle, poured wine into two wine glasses, and raised his. A toast: on your great work and the acknowledgment you deserve is finally given to you.
They were talking and celebrating. That was a great deal. She was never acknowledged for her achievements.
Finally, the husband decides to open her eyes.
He knows that she feels emotionally good. So, he had to be careful about what he is going to say, to not make her sad. However, he had to point out what she cannot see.
So, he asked her the following question, with no apparent second intentions, just as a part of the conversation they were having.
Do you know what is the difference between an employee and an employer?
She was quiet for a while; it seems that she couldn’t answer that question.
After a few seconds, she gave up, or took the bait and asked, no.
Then the husband answered.
The employee behavior is to work harder. Two of the main reasons are because he/she cannot afford to lose the job, there are many bills to pay. The second one is for acknowledgment. We human beings like to be acknowledged, and praised, for what we do. It is in our DNA.
The employer however thinks in another way. The employer behavior goes around finding the answer to this question: How can I make the employee work harder for me, without paying him/her more money? In other words, how can I make an employee make more money for me, while I keep paying the same, therefore there is more money for me?
She was so quiet at the end of my explanation. She was definitely thinking if what I told her was the truth.
After a while, she said to me, oh, that is so true. I feel reflected in that difference.
I saw it in her face. Now she understood that the “acknowledgment” she received was a bad joke. How can a person be rewarded with a lunch for making millions for a company?
Even though she opened her eyes, she was still in a good mood. She didn’t get sad. I guess it is because I helped her open her eyes instead of trying to open her eyes myself.
This always works. Don’t tell the person what to do, show the person the path, and the right decision will be made.
Now, Lucy decided to test the new knowledge she got. Maybe is something only I do or other people are also doing it? – she thought.
She has a colleague that is studying and trying to improve all the time.
Lucy: Are you improving your life with the stuff you are busy with? -She asked her colleague.
Colleague: Yes, it feels great! I learned about communication, goals, and productivity. I’m telling you, this stuff I’m following really works.
Lucy: So, how are you applying what you learned?
Colleague: I have all my work stuff done in time. I feel better about myself at work. I accomplish more daily, weekly, and monthly at the office. I’m more efficient at work. I’m more productive and that gives me a feeling of accomplishment. Definitely, a great place to be.
Lucy was astonished by the answers. Now Lucy is looking at the underlying thinking of an employee. Everything that her colleague answered was an improvement at work.
Don’t get me wrong here. It is good and important to feel better at work and to be a great professional that achieves many things, professionally speaking.
What I want to point out here is the mentality of the employee. It doesn’t matter if you are aware that you have it. It is just like that, and you get results according to that underlying thinking.
Now Lucy decided, let me give my colleague some of the wisdom I was given.
She mentioned to her colleague the difference between employer and employee. Her colleague couldn’t help herself but laugh. She said, so true! I can see myself there.
And ever since that day, she understood a hard reality.
The reality in professional life. There is an important difference between an employer and an employee. It doesn’t matter if people can’t see this difference, or if they are not aware of it.
The difference exists and our lives are influenced by it. It doesn’t matter if you know it or not. It just works like that.
From now on, she told the husband, I’m going to keep doing the best I can do in my job. I’ll also do my best to start thinking like an employer.
It seems better to think like an employer than to think like an employee. It seems that life will just be nicer.
Love you, Dad.