Dear daughter,
Today I want to tell you a story that happened to me yesterday related to the term herd mentality.
When my wife comes from work, we usually sit and share at least 1 hour talking about our day and things in general. During that period, we don’t allow any distractions or interruptions We are having a couple-time.
It happens that yesterday, my wife was excited because there was a special starting at a shop that is close to the place where she works.
“Everybody in the office is excited about this special,” she said.
“Is it that good?”
“Yes! These are prices you cannot find anymore. During the last year, prices have increased more than 20% in most products.”
“Hmm, the special is good then. Good for them. Many people need relief from time to time during these uncertain times,” I said.
“I asked a colleague to buy several things for me. They are all making plans to go there at lunchtime hour. I even thought of going early so I can buy several stuff.”
“What do you want to buy?”
“One of the things is several tomato sauces. They will be at a very good price.”
“But we don’t use much tomato sauce. Why do you want to buy several?”
“They will be sold for a very good price. We should take advantage now, so we don’t pay more later.”
“I see. But I think you are making a bad decision.”
“How so?”
“We use 1 bottle of tomato sauce probably for around 2 months, and you want to buy 3 of them. We will probably have tomato sauce for the whole year, lol.”
“Don’t you think it is too much?” she stopped talking for a while.
“But I was so excited for the cheap prices. And all my colleagues are also going to buy.”
At this moment, I had to find out a different way of showing her what was obvious to me.
It is interesting how sometimes, someone listens more to a person they don’t know, than to the person next to them. If you pay attention, you will see that this also happens in your life.
Just to give you an example. Your mother tells you to do something because she knows that is a good thing to do. But you don’t pay attention. If you read the same thing on the internet, you might even think about it. Crazy, isn’t it?
So, knowing this, and a few other things, I asked my wife “Do you know what herd mentality is?”
“No,” she said.
“Can you google it and read it for me? Please”
When she read it her face changed. She was nodding her head and didn’t want to look at me straight. After a while, she started reading it.
“Herd mentality, mob mentality or pack mentality describes how people can be influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviors on a largely emotional, rather than rational, basis. When individuals are affected by mob mentality, they may make different decisions than they would have individually.” Source.
At that moment, I saw in her eyes that she got my message.
Her face turned red.
“I can’t believe I felt in that!” she said.
“I’m helping my colleagues to save money, to be on a budget, and have an emergency fund. And here I’m doing this thing! I can’t believe it!”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself,” I said. “We are two in this marriage. And the two of us must be vigilant so we don’t lose the path we designed for ourselves. In this case, I had to show you that something different was better, in another case, you will have to show me.”
“But it is just weird.”
“Yes, I know. That is why it is important to read and study, you know. Reading, I found the term herd mentality. So, when I heard you, it just came to the surface.”
“Sure. You are something else. I was so excited, and you just put a full stop on me.”
“It is not about stopping you. It is about what we believe, and what we usually do. If one of us see the other doing something that does not fit, must act.”
“Yes, you are right. And guess what, now that I think about it, someone else will join the impulse buying, but you didn’t.”
“I have my fair share of impulse buying. I mentioned a few to you the other day. The important thing we need to remember is not the mistakes we made; it is what we learned from the mistakes we made.”
“Wait a minute, let me tell my colleague not to buy for me what I asked.”
“Remember, we all make mistakes. What matter most is to learn from those mistakes. Do you want to hear -my formula- to avoid impulse buying when I see specials?”
“Sure.”
“I ask myself: if it wasn’t on special, will you buy it? If the answer is yes, I will go ahead and buy it. If the answer is no, I will walk away.”
“That makes a lot of sense,” she said.
Dear daughter, as you can see from my experience above, we human beings can go out of our ways easier than we think.
I want you to be vigilant. Herd mentality applies to every area of your life, not only impulse buying.
Some other areas where you can see herd mentality are:
- Parties. “I need to go to that party because all the cool people are going there”.
- Lifestyle. “My TV should be bigger because all the people I know like bigger TVs, so they must be better”.
- Shoes. “I need to buy those All-stars. The cool people have them”.
- Alcohol. “At a party, the popular people are drinking alcohol, so I must join”.
- Smoking. “When the group is at a party drinking alcohol, they start smoking, so I should also do it”.
- Keeping up with the Joneses. “The neighbors bought a new car; I should do the same.”
As you can see, there are many daily life examples of how herd mentality can affect our decisions.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t buy the shoes you like. All I’m saying is that you should buy them because you want to buy them, not because a group of people is influencing you.
Be always aware!
Love you, Dad.